Tag Archives: mom

Dressing the bump

So when it comes to maternity clothes, what exactly do you need?

I’ve just hit the second trimester, and although I haven’t gained any weight yet (darn morning sickness) I do have quite the little bump.

Going into a maternity store is overwhelming and pricey. I prefer to shop at store that have a smaller selection as they usually have the basics. Kohls, Target and Wal-Mart are my go to. Prices are reasonable and often you can get coupons and hit sale racks.

I went to Kohls recently and picked up some starter items. Keep in mind, you don’t just have to shop the maternity section. Look at regular sale racks for items that are stretchy already. I found a very cute dress for a beach casual wedding I’m going to at Kohls for $10. It was non maternity, but was a super stretchy knit fabric that showed off my bump in a super cute way!

Also, don’t forget to check your local thrift stores! You don’t wear maternity clothes forever, so if you can pick up a pair of jeans for $6 bucks instead of $30, why not??

Now, everyone is different, but here are items that I see as basic, versatile starters.

Maternity/Nursing Bra.

I needed one of these bras as soon as 8 weeks. I was initially worried about not having an underwire one (they are ridiculously hard to find), but found that a wireless bra works just fine. I was skeptical as I was “well endowed” in the chest area to begin with and pregnancy has only added to that. I was afraid that I wouldn’t have the support I needed in a wire free bra, and that the ladies would look saggy without formed cups and wire to keep them in line. I was pleasantly surprised. I highly recommend this particular bra from Kohls as it is very comfortable, soft, and grows with you.

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2703366/Maternity-Playtex-Nursing-Seamless-Nursing-Bra-4956.jsp?pfm=bdrecs-WebStore-PDP-Horizontal1-b563-231&bdrecsId=001356eb-83c0-4073-8410-1e1bbe4b1568

Maternity Tank Top.

Not only are these great for a hot summer day, but are equally a great for layering. They also work nicely for extending the life of that favorite non maternity shirt that now isn’t as long as it used to be.  Do yourself a favor and get a couple in different colors, you won’t regret it!

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3331313/maternity-aglow-seamless-cami.jsp?color=Dapper%20Tan&prdPV=1

Black Leggings.

Maternity or non, find yourself a nice stretchy pair of these gals. Even if you weren’t a leggings person before pregnancy, these will be a life saver. Great to wear under dresses and skirts, by them selves, to sleep in etc…You will never run out of uses for these comfy pants alternatives!

Maternity Tee.

Pair with dress pants, skirts, jeans, shorts…you name it! Dress it up, dress it down, these type of shirts are worth buying (maybe in several colors!).

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3023694/maternity-aglow-scoopneck-ruched-tee.jsp?color=Dark%20Dusty%20Heather&prdPV=7

As for maternity pants, I unfortunately do not have any to recommend as I have yet to find any that fit me well. It seems that maternity pants for tall people are very hard to find. While I am tall at 5’9, I am not exceptionally tall and have been surprised that it is so hard to find long maternity pants. When I do find a pair, I will let you all know!

Now, depending on what season you are pregnant, or if you are a working mama, your style, etc… here are some additional items that might be worth looking at.

Maternity winter coat: https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3329965/maternity-aglow-quilted-puffer-jacket.jsp?color=Mineral%20Black&prdPV=1

Jeans: https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3333340/maternity-aglow-full-belly-panel-slim-bootcut-jeans.jsp?color=Dark%20Wash&prdPV=4

Swimsuit: https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2853913/pink-envelope-maternity-polka-dot-swimdress.jsp?prdPV=2

Skirts/pants for work: https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3429046/maternity-aglow-full-belly-panel-ponte-bootcut-pants.jsp?color=Olive&prdPV=5

 

 

MIA

As y’all have probably noticed, I have been MIA for a bit on here. There were two reasons that I kinda disappeared. Firstly, I had a major depressive funk.

I just couldn’t bring myself out of it. The weather change didn’t help, but it was almost like my antidepressants took a vacation. I was dragging myself to work barely on time, dragging myself home to then put on pjs and curl up under a blanket. I just felt emotionally blah. I was at the point where I just didn’t feel anything. It was like I was sitting back and watching a movie of my daily life. To be honest, I’m still not fully out of it, but I do hope the worst has passed.

Secondly, as soon as I started to feel better, I found out that I was pregnant! I know we were trying, but boy, did it throw me for a loop. I couldn’t focus for a week! Needless to say, I’m scared with a dash of excitement. Every day feels like a year and I wish I could just get to the end of it.

Morning sickness has already made its appearance (I was really hoping to skip that this time!), along with bloating, headaches, back aches , hot flashes and very disconcerting intermittent pink discharge (I know it’s fine, but it scares me every time).

Morning sickness is the worst right now. I’m living on zofran and quickly finding out this kiddo’s food aversions. So far pulled pork was warned against with nausea, and Swiss cheese cubes plus ranch veggie straws were decidedly unappreciated and promptly removed from my stomach.

I’ll do weekly updates as I progress, please wish me luck!

Project Benjamin

ALL CREDITS TO DANA DEWEDOFF

A dear friend shared this article with me and it resonated so much that I knew I needed to share it with all of you too.

https://riseforwomen.org/rise-projects/projectbenjamin

Project Benjamin #TheyMatterToo Campaign

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

Sometimes #Struggledoesnothavealook 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage or loss, yet how many women do you know who actually talk about it? We are the face of 1 in 4 pregnancies. Start the discussion. We wrote down the common things people say to us before and sometimes even after knowing about our losses.

The things said to us can sometimes hurt. Our babies matter too.

It appears that Michelle has the “perfect life.” Great job, fit, and is usually seen SMILING. But the truth is, Michelle lost her daughter Micah in 2012, a loss she struggles with every single day.

When Shannon is asked how many children she has, she usually gasps because she does not know what to say. Should she tell them two? Should she tell them three?

When Melissa tells people she lost her daughter Averi, at 28 weeks, they sometimes respond with, “Well you can adopt.”

People often ask Andrea when she is going to start having children. But she has one. An angel.

Dara Sawyer said that the comment that hurts her the most is “You’re so lucky! You have one of each!” But she actually has two boys and one girl. One boy is an angel.

Christina is often told “maybe it was meant to be” regarding the loss of her Son, Hunter Anthony at 25 weeks, 2 days.

At the age of 15, Aubrey was told her baby was not a “baby”. She had an abortion. Years later, she suffered a miscarriage. She again was told, “It’s not a baby.”

Christina said that many people will say, “He needs a brother!” to her. Little do they know, she has suffered the pain of losing a son shortly after birth and a miscarriage.

People have said “but he never lived” about her son Lennon, who was born still. This hurts Morgan.

Dana went for a well visit check almost every week since finding out she was pregnant. In June, she went for a routine check. She was just entering the second trimester. The doctor discovered there was no heartbeat. Minutes later, she told Dana that “it was the wrong baby. And her body was doing it’s job to get rid of it.”

 

The waiting game

I’m officially playing the waiting game. Those 5 days before your period is supposed to show up that you can test to see if the magic happened. I’ve already taken 2 pregnancy tests (both negative) and am just trying to think positively. “It’s too early yet.”

Can I just say how much I hate this part? The over-analyzing every bodily feeling, people asking if I’ve tested yet (yes, duh!), the squinting at every test up to the light trying to see if there is a faint line. I wish my period could just send me an email:

Hey.

You’re preggers. *insert thumbs up emoji*

See you in 9 months.

-P

I really should just wait to test till after I’m supposed to get my period–every negative crushes me a little bit. Sigh. Back to nail biting and anxiety….

 

I can’t wait to–

As you have seen from some of my previous posts, I have the joy of managing depression, anxiety, and OCD. This on top of being a loss mom can kinda put a damper on getting pregnant again. Someone suggested to me to make a list of things I am excited to do once I have another child, no matter how “trivial” I feel that they are. Take a look!

  1. Go to the Zoo and look at the elephants (my fav) and the lions (dad’s fav).
  2. Taking maternity leave.
  3. Picking out new outfits for the babe.
  4. Family pictures.
  5. Spamming my friends and family with endless baby pictures.
  6. Play-dates.
  7. Napping together.
  8. Watching my dog love my baby.
  9. Have the feeling of going back to work.
  10. Baby snuggles.
  11. Hearing my baby laugh.
  12. Bringing out my inner child–pumpkin carving, easter egg hunts, hide and seek.
  13. Feeling like I have a purpose in life.
  14. Experience their first “everything.”
  15. Teaching my child to do something.
  16. Seeing Nick happy.
  17. Being needed.
  18. Hearing them say “Mommy.”
  19. A reason to decorate an entire room with elephants 🙂
  20. Knowing if I have a baby I can do ANYTHING.

This was fun to do, and really made me focus on the positives, not the potential negatives. I think this would be super fun to do with your child’s father!

Gender, Disabilities, and Impairments.

This picture always makes me crack up! I know it’s in reference to gender identity, but it speaks to me as a loss mom. Instead of “Whatever-just wash your hands” I feel like writing “Whatever-just be alive and stay alive!”

640fe10030dae9accbb37da55c28ad01.jpg

I don’t care if my child has a developmental disability. I don’t really care if they are a boy or girl. I don’t care if my baby is born a girl and decides they identify as a man. I don’t care if my baby is born without an arm, ear, or leg. I don’t care if my baby is blind, deaf, or has spina bifida. I DON’T CARE!!! I just want a baby that has the potential to live–I can work with anything else!!

When I was losing Nyla, I remember thinking, “Why does it have to be her heart–it’s a death sentence! Why can’t she just be missing a leg, or be wheelchair bound?? Why does it have to be something we can’t fix??”

Everyone has their own different opinion on this subject, but for me my only goal is that this BTB is alive and able to live life. Of course I want my baby to be healthy and have no problems–I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I’ll love my child just as much if they are autistic, wheelchair-bound, or didn’t grow all of their extremities.

So, BTB–just be alive and stay alive. We can get through anything else! ❤

PAL is so different

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We all know loss is hard, but remaking your life is just as bad. As a TTC PAL mom, I struggle with this. Today the phrase ” You know you are “X” if you…” popped into my mind. So I thought all day about my fears and insecurities of being PAL, and here is the result.

You know you’re a loss mom when:

You see those 2 lines and automatically think “hmm, wonder how long this one will last”, or “lets see if we make it past “X” number of weeks this time”.

You try to associate any and all signs of pregnancy (even if you are TTC) with something else. “It must be my anxiety”, or “I’ve probably got a stomach bug”.

You find out you’re not pregnant and even though you’re sad, there is that little twinge of relief in the back of your head; because it would be just that much easier to not have to open yourself to that kind of hurt again.

Everyone talks about your potential baby shower and you just smile and nod because who knows if you are even gonna have one or get that far.

People find out you are TTC and don’t understand why you aren’t taking a pregnancy test ASAP, not realizing how much courage it takes to even buy that damn thing.

Announcing your pregnancy is unthinkable. No cute pictures, onesies, or ultrasound scans. Instead, you think “How long can I hide this til I have to tell people who aren’t close to me?”

You ask your OB to not even tell you the Due Date yet because that way if something goes wrong again, that isn’t one more day of the year you’ll feel like shit.

It’s like a reflex to check for blood every time you use the bathroom.

You develop anxiety at the thought of having to go to an OB appointment–this might be the visit when you find out it’s all over….yet again.

You avoid planning a nursery until the last minute–just in case.

It takes a brave woman to be pregnant, but when its a PAL that woman becomes the bravest human alive. ❤