I got a new job and I am kinda dreading the start of it. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to be leaving my current job. Starting a new job is just…anxiety ridden.
It’s beyond the walking on eggshells to figure out which co-worker you can say what to, or is this a work friendship or are we carrying this outside of work? I can deal with small talk, the what did you do this weekend, and all that. You know what I am dreading?
“So, do you have kids?”
Sigh. Here we go. Do I explain that I have 2 kids, but they died? I can’t just leave it with “Yes”, because then they expect details. But do I really want the pitying look when I explain my kids are dead? Or even worse, the “Oh shit, I shouldn’t have asked that” deer-in-the-headlights look? Awkward.
It’s like it’s not enough that I lost 2 babes, but it has to be rubbed in whenever I make new friends/acquaintances. It puts me in such an weird place–I can’t say no, but saying yes makes it so complicated. I just wish it didn’t come up and I could share as I get closer to people on my own. But it is an unavoidable conversation–hence the anxiety.