When I was pregnant with Nyla, I had a lot of pregnancy symptoms. Radiant glow? Try cystic acne. Cute pregnancy belly? More like lumpy, bloated whale. The worst of all was the morning sickness. Everything got thrown up; fish, banana bread, trail mix, ginger ale, toast–Nyla didn’t discriminate; and on top of all that, she didn’t appreciate coffee.
Coffee folks. I couldn’t tolerate coffee. Yeah.
After Nyla passed, I felt like the worst person in the world that I had complained about “minor” stuff like acne, bloating, and nausea. Me griping about it all made it seem like I hadn’t wanted to be pregnant at all, hadn’t wanted my daughter. Of course, that was absolutely not the case, but that’s how I felt.
I think this is where the fact that the topics of miscarriage, stillbirth, and child loss are still so taboo to talk about comes into play.
If a person with knee pain complained about their knee, would we retort “Oh, you must not want your knee.” Or if an asthmatic complained about wheezing, would we say “Sounds like you don’t even appreciate the fact that you have lungs.” NO! We commiserate, ask if we can help, try to find ways to alleviate the problem or make it easier.
Ladies. It is ok to complain about pregnancy. It is by far the biggest, hardest, most trying physical experience we will ever go through in our lives.
I’ll say it–PREGNANCY CAN SUCK!
It is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing experience–just not at 5:30 am when you are trying to get out the door to work but can’t make it away from the toilet due to vomiting. It changes you into a whole different person, which is so unbelievable–just not always appreciated when not even the best make up can cover all that acne and you feel like a teenager again.
But we choose it again and again. Us TTC PAL mom’s are probably the craziest of the bunch. We get hurt so bad, but we willingly put ourselves right back into that situation. That 9 months of uncertainty, that emotional roller coaster, that potential to have our heart broken yet again.
So you know what? Complain about your ankles, how you feel that you look fat instead of pregnant. Let everyone know you have to pee every 5 minutes and your stomach feels like a punching back from all the kicks. Because listen here world–complaining doesn’t mean I don’t want my baby.
❤ to all TTC PAL moms!